Saturday, October 25, 2008
Besides that I have been crying off and on for the last 20 hours. I'm lonely and depressed and I have too much to do before the baby gets here and I feel like I have to think of all these things on my own. Something got me upset yesterday and other things just propelled it along. I feel like a fat blob and it takes more physical effort than it should just to move. Joe FINALLY told his mom though. Thank God. That was a ridiculous stress that went on far longer than it should have. She reacted exactly as predicted. Duh. And now we just have to see what comes of it.
The baby seems fine. I am taking my daily dose of baby aspirin as directed etc. Hopefully more good news on the way.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
My dad had heart surgery 2 years ago (at 49) for small veins, not cholesterol, and his brother had the same surgery a few years before. My dad now suspects his mother may have died of the same thing because they didn’t have the tests they have now, which means I may have the heart thing too. The specialist said that the type of veins in the heart are also found in the brain and placenta so if the veins aren’t functioning properly, it could be limiting the blood flow to the baby. If that is the case, the baby would limit blood flow to her kidneys in order to keep enough blood flowing through her brain and heart. Limited blood flow to the kidneys would mean less amniotic fluid being produced by the baby which means low water level. So right now we are working off the theory that its one of two things. The eating/drinking thing, or the blood flow thing.
Now I just have to make sure that the specialist/high risk office is communicating with the OB office because I don’t want to be scheduled for redundant appointments. I will have to check with the OB office because right now they have me scheduled for “Non-stress tests” twice a week for two weeks starting Tuesday and the time of the appointments suck scheduling-wise.
In other news, no one can locate the results of my blood work back in June. I guess it wasn’t in my chart so the doc is going to call the lab. Craziness! But I really feel like I am getting people with experience and communication skills looking into things now verses before… I really felt like I had to push for information from the NP who was handling me until now. I didn’t know what to ask because I haven’t done this before and she didn’t provide info unless I asked her specific questions. It was very frustrating. Once she started showing my ultrasounds to my doctor, all this stuff started happening. I have to admit that I wasn’t expecting to be sent to a high risk doc but I feel better knowing that a problem was noticed before it was too late.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
So that's the update. I will keep the blog updated as we find out more information. Joe is really nervous because his experience in the ER has shown him all the bad things that can happen. I am saying she is just small. My mom and his mom are both 5'4"(nope still haven't met her) and I am 5'5". I was also born early and was 6lbs 2oz so maybe its genetic.
Night for now.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Okay so... at week 19 I started feeling some kicking. Now, she definitely kicks. I have days with energy and days without. Work is hard because I need to eat more frequently and I wish I had the ability to nap. And now she thinks its fun to kick my bladder.
Work has been stressful. I have an impossible client that I can't wait to get rid of. Complete nightmare. My only redemption is that anyone else that deals with this client or anything they send to me quickly remarks on the insanity. It helps to truly see that its not in my head. The client was even rude to my Director! That makes me angry... its bad enough the client shows a complete lack of respect for me and treats me as their personal secretary, but to treat my Director that way? What the heck? Anyway... this is one client I refuse to work late for. I'll do what is required of me because I am good at my job, but I don't sacrifice MY personal time for a client that does not appreciate me, respect me, and abuses the client position.
Well, sorry for the rant. In other news, Mom has started helping me go through all the stuff in the 2nd bedroom that will become the baby's room. We got rid of a lot of bags of clothes weekend before last. Now I need to get rid of all the old costumes I don't use.
Ami is starting to plan the baby shower... so much fun! I'm trying to decide who to invite that would not feel pressured into going but would want to go, and trying not to miss anyone that would feel slighted. I know that many of my family members probably won't be able to go because they live so far away AND I'm going to see people at Thanksgiving which is 2-3 weeks or so after the shower depending on what date we choose.
Ack! dead tired and I have to pee again.. night all!
Saturday, August 9, 2008
So yesterday we found out.. ITS A GIRL! She was sitting breach so we have a follow-up ultrasound in 4 weeks to check vitals since some of them were difficult to see with her position. And I think she will remain a girl ;-) They got a good look at that part.
I am still emotionally unhinged, which is ... lovely. And I am getting cramping from the growth. I can't seem to get to sleep when I want and then I find it difficult to get up early. I also am not very hungry but I feel weak when I don't eat. Thats it for updates for now. :)
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
The hiking trip was at the beginning of the week.
I was busy at work and swamped with my last week of school. I managed to pull off a 96 in the class (awesome and unexpected) and our team project recieved the comment "exceeds assignment expectations". Very cool. We worked all the time on that for 3 weeks straight.
Joe had orientation and we had our 2nd doctors appointment. Apparently I measured at 14 1/2 weeks at the end of my 14th week. Seems about right. We set-up appointment 3 and an ultrasound for August 8th to find out gender (hopefully, if the baby isn't shy). I want to calm the phone calling masses so they can buy "the cutest thing they just saw" for a girl/boy "if they only knew which one it was" ;) Also, it will help us think of names.
If I hadn't mentioned it before, by this point I had started crying over everything. Very very hard to keep my emotions in check and tears don't seem to listen well. My clothes suck and I am generally uncomfortable at this time.
Joe started working at the Palazzo as EMT/Security. He is still in school for his EMT Intermediate level and was waiting to know his days off to schedule the last of his 5 12hr clinicals for the class.
I forgot to mention that we were watching my friends' sugargliders. They are living in a giant cage in the kitchen. My sense of smell and my gag reflex hates them even though they are cute to look at.
Smells still suck and my work clothes make me want to run around naked at work. Mom took me shopping for work maternity clothes (Thank God and Thank You Mom!). Now work isn't as bad as it was.
Joe and I got to spend some actually time together this week, which was great and much needed. Earlier in the week I met with a friend for "coffee" (boba tea for me)and got to talk about my frustration with Joe's family. Maybe I'll go into it later but things haven't changed and Joe has decided not to deal with it for a while. Too much going on between school, work, clinicals, and sleep (whenever that occurs).
Justin was in town, which was awesome. (Is a good friend of mine) He lives in Denver and is getting married in October. With Justin in town, Sushi was inevitable. Good thing for me I like the baked rolls with little to no fish content so I could still eat with everyone and not eat actual sushi. The vegetable tempora was good too.
I am in the middle of this week right now. I have been very tired this week, but I managed to pick-up vitamins and go out to dinner. The sugargliders finally left us and my friends took us to the Melting Pot as a thank you. I am very happy with this thank you as I love that place. We had fun and the food is spaced out enough that I got to enjoy everything without getting full so fast.
My recent refill for my prenatals made breathing difficult. I think I reacted to something. So my doctor's office told me I could take Flintstones chewable vitamins and folic acid. Mom got me folic acid that disolves in my mouth. Yeay! These are vitamins I can handle.
This weekend I am going to Bakersfield, CA to get coached and sing with my quartet. We leave Thursday after work. I have a feeling I will be sleeping the whole way there if I can get comfortable. I am very tired right now. 15 minutes until I can leave work!!! I am meeting Mom at the mall to look for black flats I can wear to work etc. I'm hungry. Hopefully I will get there early enough to grab a snack... night all!
Monday, July 7, 2008
Saturday Joe and I went over to Stacey's for a bbq and some pool time. I was really tired by the end. I got home and turned on the free audio for the webcast of the quartet finals. They did enough stuff in the beginning that I didn't miss any of the quartets! I layed in bed and listened. I really only liked 2 quartets. OC Times of course because I have friends in that quartet and they have progressively gotten better each year, and Crossroads... a quartet formed of 4 guys with gold medals from different quartets. OC Times won! yeay! :)
Sunday I had planned to go to Mt. Charleston with Bethany but she had back problems and had to cancel. I had already invited Christine, David, and Ar so we all went and hiked the Fletcher Canyon trail. It took forever for me to get up the trail. I had to stop so many times because my heart was beating so fast and I couldn't breathe. I found out from my doctors office that it is because I have more places that blood needs to go so my heart is already working harder than normal and therefore I am not getting enough oxygen everywhere for that kind of exercise. Going down the trail and on flat surfaces was no problem at all. I feel very out of shape.
Friday, July 4, 2008
So Joe drove to Bullhead, AZ to take his National Registry renewal test a few weeks ago. The earliest one in Vegas was mid-July so he found another option. He passed (of course) and when he got his card in the mail he went to the Clark county office and got his local cards. Yeay! He interviewed with the Palazzo back at the end of May and they had been checking with him periodically to see if he had been able to get his National certification renewed. They put him thourgh background check right after the interview so I new they wanted to hire him. Joe had to jump through so many hoops to get all this stuff done... it was crazy. Anyway, in the beginning of June he moved in and a week later he started his class for EMT Intermediate. That class needed him to get a uniform and a bunch of shots. I don't like needles. This week his class started live IVs on eachother. Creepy! His hand was all swollen and now his knuckles are bruised.
My friends Mark and Serena are getting married tomorrow. Joe and I are watching their sugar gliders while they are on their honeymoon. My mom is watching their rabbit. I am so glad she was willing to do that for me. I didn't have room for the rabbit unless I took over the bathroom Joe has claimed. The transport of the animals was a harrowing experience. The smell of the cages in the confined space of my car was rediculous. The furballs and the rabbit were transported on two different days so I had to go through the whole thing of driving across town trapped with smelly animals twice in one week. Mark is picking up the animals from me and my mom. I will not ride with them again. When we were putting up the cage and trying to get the sugar gliders in Joe said we will never watch exotic pets again, "just say no". But after they were up and around, he started palying with them and I think he fell in love. They are really cute but the smell of the cage is too much for me most mornings.
My stomach is definitely bumpy. I bought these things called the Bella Band so I could wear my pants longer. I wear them unzipped. Check out the website to see how they work... so far its been great: http://www.ingridandisabel.com/ I think Heather is going to borrow one to see if it will work for her pant issues while she is still healing from her surgery. I will need to buy new cloths soon though. I cant zip up my pants very far anymore at all. I have been between 155-156 lbs for weeks and the last two days I have weighed in at 158 lbs. My main concern is a bra. I still have not gotten a new one and I am desperate. My cups literally overflow. Its crazy.
The quest for gender is stil on. Dad calls everytime he, or Bruce and Patty, finds something cute for a baby. Everyone except for Gary is voting girl. I'm starting to think that Gary might be disappointed. Who knows? Could be a boy. Our next doctors appointment is a week from today. Joe and I decided we would ask the doctor when we could find out the gender. We have no ideas for names yet.
So, everyone knows except for Joe's mom and the swing dance people (because I have been too tired to go out so I haven't seen them in a while). Joe's mom is a tricky situation. She seems to get angry easily and when she heard that Joe had moved here she wouldn't see him. That makes it hard to tell her about the minihuman. But I'm sure she will find out. Especially since everyone in our families know except her. Joe's family really confuses me. They don't seem to operate the way most families do. Actually, it seems like a lot of the conflict stems from his mom and oddly enough his brother seems to jump on the bandwagon. I'm not sure what that is about because I knew him before and he was fun to be around. His entire attitude changes when he addresses Joe and it seems like he is trying to put him down. Not supportive at all. I am so thankful for my crazy family. We may be odd, and family members might disagree with things the other family members do but we always let them know we love them and stand by them if they are doing something that makes them happy. Even if someone screws up majorly, we can't just dismiss them. They are our family. They are my family. I'm glad Joe seems more like my family than his. His cousins are cool though.
This week is the men's international competition in Nashville and I can't even watch the webcast because I am at work. Lame! I will be at the one next year in Anaheim. Its so close... how could I miss it! I will have to save up though because I am planning on going to Nashville next year for the womens international!
Alright thats enough for today. :)
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Last week (week 10) Joe and I had our first doctors appointment. The doctor took a ton of blood from me and two vials from Joe (he doesn't know his blood type and I am O neg). I called in sick for the rest of the day since my appointment took so long. Joe ended up getting stabbed 3 more times to keep all his immunizations current. Medical people and needles... bleh.
I have a REALLY strong sense of smell. Going in and out of my office is the worst part of my day. I gag at least 3-4 times each way. Thankfully I haven't thrown up yet. That would be horrible and probably terrifying to passer bys. Today was really bad at first because I started gagging as soon as I left my apartment. I sat in my car for a few minutes and tried to calm down. I have tried walking in with a mask, sniffing a tea bag, essetial oils, etc. I seem to do alright one day and then the next day the same smells just kill me. Today was the first day I was able to make it from my car to my office. I brought peach juice with me and held a sip in my mouth while walking. I swirled it around and concentrated on that smell instead of what my nose might be smelling. I noticed the other day that I did better when I was drinking my water on the way out to my car so juice is my new tactic. Hopefully it will work tonight and still work tomorrow. I need to buy more juice because that was my last one.
Well, I am tired, sick of working, and have homework to do for my summer class. At least So You Think You Can Dance is on tonight. Wahoo!
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Joe and I went to San Francisco this weekend. It was a neat trip. We flew on Virgin America and I would definitely recommend it. It was so cool. The seats were black leather and the seat backs were white and shiny like storm troopers. They had black and dark pink lights on in the cabin. It was a very furturistic feel when you first walked in. The seats each have their own TV in the chair back in front of you. On the TV you can play games, chat with other people in the plane, watch different TV stations, rent movies, listen to music, compose a playlist, and order your drink and/or food so the flight attendant doesn't even have to ask you. It was very cool.
San Francisco was neat. We took the BART system from the airport to a stop that was right by our hotel. We stayed two streets away from the trolleys. On Saturday we took a cab to the Exploritorium and afterwards we walked all the way to Pier 39.
Flying back I was very thankful that I could order extra food and had a TV to distract me from my nausea.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
I heard Narnia is good but I am not interested in it enough to really push the issue of seeing it. I will have to find another movie that I want for our first movie together. I want something upbeat and cool. Can't think of what else is comming out that will fit in that description. Maybe Kung Fu Panda. That comes out in June.
Anyway, I am wearing loose clothing today in the effort to reduce my "discomfort". The last two days I have been freaking out a little bit because of the pain but so far, no blood. I get my first ultrasound in a week. That will be reassuring, hopefully. Then I will be able to rule out etopic, and confirm that there is only one kid in there. If there are two thats fine as well but I would like to know sooner rather than later. Twins run in my family. I am not sure how prevelent they are but my Aunt Michele was a twin at birth.
It turns out that I am going to miss my cousin Justin's High School Graduation. I feel bad but Heather and Mom are going. They will represent me. I try not to miss anything but my first doctors appointment is Monday June 9th at 9:30am and I can't miss that. Justin's graduation is at 6pm the night before in CA. With how tired I get I don't see how I can go to the graduation and drive back safely in order to make my appointment. I know how hard it is to reschedule an appointment with Dr.Volker and I would have to ask for time off. I hope Justin will understand.
Speaking of graduations, I am planning on beeing very busy in December. I am taking a class this summer and a language class in the fall. December will include probably all of these things:
Baby Shower (Nov/Dec)
My language final (Dec 12)
My Birthday (Dec 15)
Christmas (Dec 25)
Car Registration (Dec/Jan)
Monday, May 19, 2008
Mom came over yesterday and helped me start to organize things. Melissa and I went to dinner and saw Speed Racer in IMAX on Saturday. I actually had moments in the movie where I realized that I hadn't been that excited about something in a long time. I love movies. I get so wrapped up in them. I guess I can't limit that to movies. I love TV Shows with arching plotlines and character delevopment. I love book series that invlove the same character through several stories or use different characters in the same world just at different, occasionally overlapping, times. I tend to find an author I like and stick with them.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
I weighed in at 154.8 this morning. At least I am consistant. I don't want to gain too much. I would rather lose weight and gain baby weight at the same time. Kind of like a weight replacement program.
I am getting antsy. I want to get through the first trimester. I want Joe to be here. I want a financial plan worked out that will pay our bills and allow Joe to go to school full time and have time to do his homework etc. I want to finish my degree because it might increase my odds at getting a level 3 spot at work if they start interviewing for them. I also want it because I have been working on the freakin thing for 10 years and I am almost done.
There is one good thing about today. Tonight belongs to me. Yeah I have some food shopping to do, but besides that I have no homework to worry about, nothing pressing to plan for, and no one to take care of or entertain. If I get a call and someone wants to come over, they are taking care of themselves. I am going to be lazy and go to bed early. I'm not going to be on the phone much either because I need the relaxation without holding something to my head and making conversation. I really need to clean and do laundry, but I need a no stress night and I'm taking it. :)
I am sooo tired and I have 45 mins to go. I don't know if I will make it shopping tonight. I want to pass out now...
Monday, May 12, 2008
Joe showed me the house he grew up in and his former college. Very cool. Friday night we ordered room service and crashed. The wedding on Saturday was great. Joe got mobbed with people happy to see him. I think it was very good for him to reconnect with people who know him and like him for who he is. I really liked all of them. They were extremely nice and fun people. Joe told Rob and Brent about the minihuman and their seperate immediate reactions were extatic. It was awesome. It was so great to be able to talk about it openly with people who were as happy about it as we are.
I can't say anything to the Vegas people because it will get back to Joe's parents before he is ready to tell them. Its hard for me. I want to be allowed to be openly excited. I am also trying to keep myself in check because it is only week 6 and the first trimester is tricky. Joe knows his parents will not react well so he doesn't want to say anything until after the first trimester. I understand. I just wish my friends weren't related to him at this point. I even worry about saying anything to swing people because Kayla is in both circles. I guess I could just talk to her seperately and explain things.
Mom says that I am likely to stay pregnant. That our family doesn't seem to have problems in that area. Mom and Dad both came from big families.
Gary got me a pregnancy book that goes week by week and he wants me to take a picture of my belly every day or so because he thinks it would be neat to put them together in a flip book. I think that would be cool too. Mom and Grandma picked me up from the airport and the book was in a bag on my seat. I'm not telling Grandma and the rest of the family until after the 1st trimester. And I want to be the one who sends out the announcement. I don't want it going through the rumor mill. Mom, Grandma and I ate at Kona Grill and then rented 27 Dresses. It was a nice night.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Today I started crying because I had to fix an issue that someone who is not here screwed up. I was angry first, and then when no one understood what I was explaining and everyone was talking at once it got so stressful I started crying. Then I called the client and got in writing what she wanted, which is what I was saying should have been done in the first place. I am rarely wrong in my job and I often feel like I work with people who don't have enough braincells to feed themselves. I am underpaid and I spend way too much time at my job but I need the healthcare and money.
So now I am afraid I won't be able to keep my hormones in check and will end up being passed by for promotion because I seem emotionally unstable. It won't last forever (and this is exactly why I don't take bc pills) but it may last long enough to cause damage. I am trying really hard to keep things in check. Damn hormones. Oh and I'm worried that the drastic fear I have of that cockroach will end up causing me to miscarriage. Great.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Saturday, May 3, 2008
So last night after work I went to see Iron Man with my IT etc friends. My sister got up from wherever she was sitting as soon as she saw me and found us seats together. Its interesting how much she seems to actually like me and want to be around these days. Its a nice change. I like her like this. Despite her medical issues, she seems happy. The movie was good. I liked it. I hadn't been to see a movie in about 3 months or so. That might be a record for me. I love going to the movies. Heather asked me if I was still pregnant. I told her that I told Mom and Gary.
Its sad but I almost feel uncomfortable around that crowd right now because I can't let them know and its all that is on my mind. Joe's brother John is in that crowd. So are his cousins, and I like them and I think Jules would be cool with it all, although I don't know her well enough to say that for sure. If they find out, we think it will get back to Joe's parents and he doesn't even want to bring it up around them as a possibility until we are sure its happening. You know... that whole first trimester thing. I am only 5 weeks right now (as of today).
I'm glad my family, quartet, and close work friends know because that is who I spend the most time with and I don't want to hav to hide stuff all the time. It severely bothers me.
In other news, the movie last night was at the new Rave theaters in Town Square. I like that place! I think i will go there more.
update on the physical stuff: 156lbs, still get tired, hungry at odd times or not hungry at all when normally am, occaional constipation and what I am calling hot flashes although the women experiencing those say its not the same as actual hot flashes. Mine feel like fever flashes or like I have an internal heater set at high.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Still tired all the time. Emotional control gone half the time. I almost cried when my boss talked to me about being late the other day. He doesn’t care but someone in the office does and complains to him. That’s what I gathered from the conversation. So I am trying to be better.
I went to the sing-out on Tuesday and I told Stacey and Bobbie about the minihuman. Ami knew that I might be; I initially told her because of a scheduling issue, and since she knew I might be, I confirmed it when I got the test results. She has been really supportive, which is awesome. I needed someone to be excited with us.
I told my mom last night. She freaked out at first (like I knew she would but hadn’t really prepared for in my emotional state) and then she did the cute over enthusiastic cheering thing that is just Mom that she would have done if I were married already and financially able to be a stay at home mom. She seemed to take things better once I told her about the plans we have for Joe’s schooling etc. And I know its going to be hard, I keep telling myself that it will be hard and that it will be worth it in the end but having my mom say that its going to be hard and having her sad for me seemed to make it worse. I really wanted Joe there.
This morning one of my strawberries tasted kind of like bacon. I keep waking up before my alarm in the mornings as well. Oh and some idiot in the parking area by my place keeps doing some weird horn thing at 11/11:30pm at night and I can’t sleep until it stops. It sounds like someone is trying to disable a car alarm or something. I always end up checking on my car to make sure it is still there and I am contemplating the cost of low jack.
I can’t wait for this weekend. I get to sleep in and I don’t have to do anything except get a dress for next weekend and make sure my clothes are clean. Yeay! Well, besides the party, the dinner, and the brunch. J
Monday, April 28, 2008
Lets get caught up:
On the weekend of April 11-13 Joe and I concieved. In the weeks following, I started to feel a little bit of pressure in my lower abdomen. Then all the fun began.
Last Sunday I was anxious, then horney, and then I cried and cried, then laughed and cried sommore. My emotions were all over the place. Joe didn’t get it at first and apparently wasn’t receiving my text messages. I tried to explain to him that even though my mind seemed to be functioning like normal, by body/hormones/emotions were not. Hard to do over the phone when you sound like a raving lunatic but I think he finally caught on.
On Monday I was uncomfortable in my clothes and was extremely tired by the time I got home. I made my self pick-up my dry cleaning and had a strangely strong craving for something beef & mushroom creamy. I have no idea which fast food places serve what. I ended up getting some sort of steak sandwhich at Jack-in-the-Box.
On Tuesday I was so angry at the world I wanted to yell and scream over nothing at all … inexplicablely angry. Then I went to Chris’ and ate a bunch of ice cream and watched one of the last shows I had sitting on his DVR. Then I packed until I could barly see straight and drove home. My back hurt and I was exhausted by 11pm.
On Wednesday I was severly irritated but I got cable! Thanks to Heather waiting at my place. I went to Chris’ to pack until I was so tired I had to drive home around 11pm again. I felt really hot temp-wise for the last half of the day.
On Thursday I had a really good lunch and chat and although I was sad in the morning, the rest of the day was really fun and I was in a good mood. Then I went to David Burke to see Chance and experience the Cheesecake Lollipop Tree. I was so sleepy after that. I ended up ditching Chris’ and I tried to work on my essay until I fell asleep. I was ready to sleep at 7pm. Oh and I was hot all day long.
On Friday I woke up early and decided to take a pregnancy test. It was positive. The second line was a little blurry but very “there”. I was so excited I called and woke up Joe to tell him. Work was good. Fridays are usually fun. I was hot and had Elsy and Bethany feel my head. They both said I was hot. I didn’t explain why. After work I frantically worked on my essay and had to force myself to stay awake. After I turned in my essay (when I was out of time, not when I was finished) I watched TV and tried to stay awake for Joe and Dad to get into town. I gave up and went to bed… way too tired.
Got up early Saturday and got the uhaul. Dad packed up the Uhaul by himself.. I was still packing boxes and he wouldn’t let me lift anything heavy. Joe and Dad unpacked the truck later. I took another test and it was a strong right away positive.
Got up early Sunday and turned the uhaul back in. I was tired all day. I played with Squeaks a lot. I love that dog. It’s the cutest most adorable puppy ever.
Today I’m at work. Its Monday. Dad, Joe, and Squeaks left this morning. It will be lonely tonight. I have had mild to strongish cramps for the last 4 days. Only about once or twice per day. If I can lay down flat they tend to go away faster. Its weird. Well, that’s all for now. The laundry list of days was just to get caught up.
I am currently on week 4 of the incubation of the minihuman. J