Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Week 8 so far

Saturday I woke up and ended up staying in bed for a bit because I was in pain. My lower abdomen hurt. It was like someone purposly pressing on a sore muscle or like a dull ache. It hurt enough that I didn't want to move. I turned on my left side to increase blood circulation. I read about that somewhere. I started to feel better in a bit. I had a little bit of it yesterday morning and then last evening I was in enough pain again that I stayed in bed and didn't end up going to see Indiana Jones like I wanted. Everyone has already seen it or is not responding to my questions about it so I think I will end up going by myself. I kinda thought it would be Joe and I's first movie together but he saw it with his roommates last night.

I heard Narnia is good but I am not interested in it enough to really push the issue of seeing it. I will have to find another movie that I want for our first movie together. I want something upbeat and cool. Can't think of what else is comming out that will fit in that description. Maybe Kung Fu Panda. That comes out in June.

Anyway, I am wearing loose clothing today in the effort to reduce my "discomfort". The last two days I have been freaking out a little bit because of the pain but so far, no blood. I get my first ultrasound in a week. That will be reassuring, hopefully. Then I will be able to rule out etopic, and confirm that there is only one kid in there. If there are two thats fine as well but I would like to know sooner rather than later. Twins run in my family. I am not sure how prevelent they are but my Aunt Michele was a twin at birth.

It turns out that I am going to miss my cousin Justin's High School Graduation. I feel bad but Heather and Mom are going. They will represent me. I try not to miss anything but my first doctors appointment is Monday June 9th at 9:30am and I can't miss that. Justin's graduation is at 6pm the night before in CA. With how tired I get I don't see how I can go to the graduation and drive back safely in order to make my appointment. I know how hard it is to reschedule an appointment with Dr.Volker and I would have to ask for time off. I hope Justin will understand.

Speaking of graduations, I am planning on beeing very busy in December. I am taking a class this summer and a language class in the fall. December will include probably all of these things:
Baby Shower (Nov/Dec)
My language final (Dec 12)
Graduation (Dec)
My Birthday (Dec 15)
Christmas (Dec 25)
Car Registration (Dec/Jan)

Monday, May 19, 2008


All I want to do today is go back to bed. I feel nauseous and sick. All I can do is keep eating. If I am chewing on something I feel better but that only lasts a few moments and in those moments I am tired. Oh and my hairdryer has decided to stop working as well. Now I need a new one of those. I have had it for a bit but its still annoying.
Mom came over yesterday and helped me start to organize things. Melissa and I went to dinner and saw Speed Racer in IMAX on Saturday. I actually had moments in the movie where I realized that I hadn't been that excited about something in a long time. I love movies. I get so wrapped up in them. I guess I can't limit that to movies. I love TV Shows with arching plotlines and character delevopment. I love book series that invlove the same character through several stories or use different characters in the same world just at different, occasionally overlapping, times. I tend to find an author I like and stick with them.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Saturday begin week 7

The last few days at work have just dragged on. I have to keep eating all the time to not feel sick. Every night I get home and I am good for about two hours and then I crash hard. I am tired all the time. I wanted to go be social last night but I got sick and tired all at once and ended up passing out for an hour. Then I woke up, watched a movie, then went back to bed. I slept until 10:30am this morning. My head hurts and I miss Joe. I can't wait until he is out here. And I'm lonely. I need socialization. I need to see if anyone is doing anything for a bit today. Its getting hot here now. I am not really looking forward to hot. I liked it the last week. Warm and breezy. I feel icky.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

week 6 : Tuesday

omg my boobs hurt so bad last night. I accidentally bushed my hand against them while doing something and ended up jumping back, which made them bounce, which hurt more! grrr. oh and lets not forget the nausea and constipation. Pregnancy is "fun".
I weighed in at 154.8 this morning. At least I am consistant. I don't want to gain too much. I would rather lose weight and gain baby weight at the same time. Kind of like a weight replacement program.
I am getting antsy. I want to get through the first trimester. I want Joe to be here. I want a financial plan worked out that will pay our bills and allow Joe to go to school full time and have time to do his homework etc. I want to finish my degree because it might increase my odds at getting a level 3 spot at work if they start interviewing for them. I also want it because I have been working on the freakin thing for 10 years and I am almost done.
There is one good thing about today. Tonight belongs to me. Yeah I have some food shopping to do, but besides that I have no homework to worry about, nothing pressing to plan for, and no one to take care of or entertain. If I get a call and someone wants to come over, they are taking care of themselves. I am going to be lazy and go to bed early. I'm not going to be on the phone much either because I need the relaxation without holding something to my head and making conversation. I really need to clean and do laundry, but I need a no stress night and I'm taking it. :)
I am sooo tired and I have 45 mins to go. I don't know if I will make it shopping tonight. I want to pass out now...

Monday, May 12, 2008

Brent and Lauren's Wedding in MN/Mother's Day Weekend

I took off work on Friday and flew to Minnesota. I had not been there before. On the way there I had a layover in Denver. I've decided I don't like flying. My head spins and I feel nauseous during turbulence and landing. Or any sharp-ish turns they do. I can't look out the window either. It was pretty hard. I forced myself to eat while in Denver and it helped with the nausea. I was so tired.

Joe showed me the house he grew up in and his former college. Very cool. Friday night we ordered room service and crashed. The wedding on Saturday was great. Joe got mobbed with people happy to see him. I think it was very good for him to reconnect with people who know him and like him for who he is. I really liked all of them. They were extremely nice and fun people. Joe told Rob and Brent about the minihuman and their seperate immediate reactions were extatic. It was awesome. It was so great to be able to talk about it openly with people who were as happy about it as we are.

I can't say anything to the Vegas people because it will get back to Joe's parents before he is ready to tell them. Its hard for me. I want to be allowed to be openly excited. I am also trying to keep myself in check because it is only week 6 and the first trimester is tricky. Joe knows his parents will not react well so he doesn't want to say anything until after the first trimester. I understand. I just wish my friends weren't related to him at this point. I even worry about saying anything to swing people because Kayla is in both circles. I guess I could just talk to her seperately and explain things.

Mom says that I am likely to stay pregnant. That our family doesn't seem to have problems in that area. Mom and Dad both came from big families.

Gary got me a pregnancy book that goes week by week and he wants me to take a picture of my belly every day or so because he thinks it would be neat to put them together in a flip book. I think that would be cool too. Mom and Grandma picked me up from the airport and the book was in a bag on my seat. I'm not telling Grandma and the rest of the family until after the 1st trimester. And I want to be the one who sends out the announcement. I don't want it going through the rumor mill. Mom, Grandma and I ate at Kona Grill and then rented 27 Dresses. It was a nice night.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Wednesday week 5

This morning I weighed in at 153.6 lbs. Yesterday was 154.6. I am extremely tired and I can barely keep my eyes open. I am also having trouble focusing. Last night during our quartet performance I skipped ahead in the song but pulled it off well enought that Bobbie didn't even notice. Whats odd is that I got all of the choreo for the chorus uptune which I hadn't done in over a month but messed up the song I sang with the quartet that day and 3 days before that. I have been having weird mess-ups over the last few months with that stuff which is very strange. Anyway, the singing went fine and Klaus stayed hidden last night as well so I could kindof pretend he didn't exist even though I know he is planning his next attack. Mom is coming over tonight to figure out the dress situation for this weekend. I have to pack and do laundry cause I won't have time tomorrow... quartet rehearsal. I am looking forward to sleeping in with no light in my face Saturday morning... yeay heavy hotel curtains! :D

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Tuesday week 5

So last night I ended up in hysterics over the giant cockroach that has decided to move in along with the boxes from chris'. I barely got any sleep. I was completely terrified. It crawled across the floor,up the wall, and then flew over to the bags and boxes by the wall. I could hear it crawling through the bags. Things were moving. Then it ran into the second room and then through the bathroom into the kitchen. I had already armed myself with windex and proceeded to try an lure it outside... That didn't work. Then I barricaded myself in my bedroom with a towel shoved under the door so it couldn't get in. Every little thing I felt last night woke me up. I was sobbing on the phone to Joe for a good hour.
Today I started crying because I had to fix an issue that someone who is not here screwed up. I was angry first, and then when no one understood what I was explaining and everyone was talking at once it got so stressful I started crying. Then I called the client and got in writing what she wanted, which is what I was saying should have been done in the first place. I am rarely wrong in my job and I often feel like I work with people who don't have enough braincells to feed themselves. I am underpaid and I spend way too much time at my job but I need the healthcare and money.
So now I am afraid I won't be able to keep my hormones in check and will end up being passed by for promotion because I seem emotionally unstable. It won't last forever (and this is exactly why I don't take bc pills) but it may last long enough to cause damage. I am trying really hard to keep things in check. Damn hormones. Oh and I'm worried that the drastic fear I have of that cockroach will end up causing me to miscarriage. Great.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Monday week 5

So yesterday I tried to go shopping for a dress to wear to Joe's friend's wedding this weekend in Minnesota and I failed. Nothing seems to fit right. Its really annoying. I tried on 4 dresses at lunch today and I have the same problems. Boobs too big for the dress, bra straps showing and trust me, I need my bra. Stomach looking not so hot etc. I was angry and irritated at the mall. Poor Mom. Anyway, today was the 5th of May potluck at work. I have been eating all day. Yum! I have had 5 meatballs. Meatballs? Yep.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

5 weeks 1 day

today I am 155 lbs and I just cried to the happy ending of "Meet the Robinsons" ... yeah definitely preggers. =P lol

Saturday, May 3, 2008


I know. My titles are extremely imaginative at this point. Relax, its just the beginning. I am sure future titles will be filled with wit once all the weirdness starts.
So last night after work I went to see Iron Man with my IT etc friends. My sister got up from wherever she was sitting as soon as she saw me and found us seats together. Its interesting how much she seems to actually like me and want to be around these days. Its a nice change. I like her like this. Despite her medical issues, she seems happy. The movie was good. I liked it. I hadn't been to see a movie in about 3 months or so. That might be a record for me. I love going to the movies. Heather asked me if I was still pregnant. I told her that I told Mom and Gary.
Its sad but I almost feel uncomfortable around that crowd right now because I can't let them know and its all that is on my mind. Joe's brother John is in that crowd. So are his cousins, and I like them and I think Jules would be cool with it all, although I don't know her well enough to say that for sure. If they find out, we think it will get back to Joe's parents and he doesn't even want to bring it up around them as a possibility until we are sure its happening. You know... that whole first trimester thing. I am only 5 weeks right now (as of today).
I'm glad my family, quartet, and close work friends know because that is who I spend the most time with and I don't want to hav to hide stuff all the time. It severely bothers me.
In other news, the movie last night was at the new Rave theaters in Town Square. I like that place! I think i will go there more.

update on the physical stuff: 156lbs, still get tired, hungry at odd times or not hungry at all when normally am, occaional constipation and what I am calling hot flashes although the women experiencing those say its not the same as actual hot flashes. Mine feel like fever flashes or like I have an internal heater set at high.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Update on things week 4 Thursday

Still tired all the time. Emotional control gone half the time. I almost cried when my boss talked to me about being late the other day. He doesn’t care but someone in the office does and complains to him. That’s what I gathered from the conversation. So I am trying to be better.

I went to the sing-out on Tuesday and I told Stacey and Bobbie about the minihuman. Ami knew that I might be; I initially told her because of a scheduling issue, and since she knew I might be, I confirmed it when I got the test results. She has been really supportive, which is awesome. I needed someone to be excited with us.

Bethany has been great too. She keeps me believing that it will all work out with money and parents etc. She has the voice of experience.  

I told my mom last night. She freaked out at first (like I knew she would but hadn’t really prepared for in my emotional state) and then she did the cute over enthusiastic cheering thing that is just Mom that she would have done if I were married already and financially able to be a stay at home mom. She seemed to take things better once I told her about the plans we have for Joe’s schooling etc. And I know its going to be hard, I keep telling myself that it will be hard and that it will be worth it in the end but having my mom say that its going to be hard and having her sad for me seemed to make it worse. I really wanted Joe there.

This morning one of my strawberries tasted kind of like bacon. I keep waking up before my alarm in the mornings as well. Oh and some idiot in the parking area by my place keeps doing some weird horn thing at 11/11:30pm at night and I can’t sleep until it stops. It sounds like someone is trying to disable a car alarm or something. I always end up checking on my car to make sure it is still there and I am contemplating the cost of low jack.

I can’t wait for this weekend. I get to sleep in and I don’t have to do anything except get a dress for next weekend and make sure my clothes are clean. Yeay! Well, besides the party, the dinner, and the brunch. J