Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Tuesday week 5

So last night I ended up in hysterics over the giant cockroach that has decided to move in along with the boxes from chris'. I barely got any sleep. I was completely terrified. It crawled across the floor,up the wall, and then flew over to the bags and boxes by the wall. I could hear it crawling through the bags. Things were moving. Then it ran into the second room and then through the bathroom into the kitchen. I had already armed myself with windex and proceeded to try an lure it outside... That didn't work. Then I barricaded myself in my bedroom with a towel shoved under the door so it couldn't get in. Every little thing I felt last night woke me up. I was sobbing on the phone to Joe for a good hour.
Today I started crying because I had to fix an issue that someone who is not here screwed up. I was angry first, and then when no one understood what I was explaining and everyone was talking at once it got so stressful I started crying. Then I called the client and got in writing what she wanted, which is what I was saying should have been done in the first place. I am rarely wrong in my job and I often feel like I work with people who don't have enough braincells to feed themselves. I am underpaid and I spend way too much time at my job but I need the healthcare and money.
So now I am afraid I won't be able to keep my hormones in check and will end up being passed by for promotion because I seem emotionally unstable. It won't last forever (and this is exactly why I don't take bc pills) but it may last long enough to cause damage. I am trying really hard to keep things in check. Damn hormones. Oh and I'm worried that the drastic fear I have of that cockroach will end up causing me to miscarriage. Great.

1 comment:

JDL said...

My first instinct is to laugh and give you the biggest hug in the history of hugs. There is just so much going wrong, especially with roach, that it's hard not to laugh at all the crap that is happening.

I love you so much. I will be there soon and it will be just you and me. I can micromanage our home life so you don't need to worry.

You are my hero. I'm so proud of you for everything.