So last night I ended up in hysterics over the giant cockroach that has decided to move in along with the boxes from chris'. I barely got any sleep. I was completely terrified. It crawled across the floor,up the wall, and then flew over to the bags and boxes by the wall. I could hear it crawling through the bags. Things were moving. Then it ran into the second room and then through the bathroom into the kitchen. I had already armed myself with windex and proceeded to try an lure it outside... That didn't work. Then I barricaded myself in my bedroom with a towel shoved under the door so it couldn't get in. Every little thing I felt last night woke me up. I was sobbing on the phone to Joe for a good hour.
Today I started crying because I had to fix an issue that someone who is not here screwed up. I was angry first, and then when no one understood what I was explaining and everyone was talking at once it got so stressful I started crying. Then I called the client and got in writing what she wanted, which is what I was saying should have been done in the first place. I am rarely wrong in my job and I often feel like I work with people who don't have enough braincells to feed themselves. I am underpaid and I spend way too much time at my job but I need the healthcare and money.
So now I am afraid I won't be able to keep my hormones in check and will end up being passed by for promotion because I seem emotionally unstable. It won't last forever (and this is exactly why I don't take bc pills) but it may last long enough to cause damage. I am trying really hard to keep things in check. Damn hormones. Oh and I'm worried that the drastic fear I have of that cockroach will end up causing me to miscarriage. Great.